Wednesday, February 18, 2015


Surprises are fun.  I love surprise parties and surprise presents and surprise hugs and such.  It is that moment of not knowing that it is coming that makes it even better than something expected!  

So basically, Picasso has been working really hard, keeping watch over me and helping out and buying movies and pizza and my beautiful rainbow dress and all that, so Navi and I wanted to thank her!  Plus she was seeming kind of sad and mopey because her boyfriend Mr. Moth was having his mask shattered and she must have really liked that mask because even though it was apparently his choice to have it broken she was upset about it.

Also the fact that apparently he's going to die soon or something, but he also chose that for himself so I don't think she should be upset about it!  No reason to lose that beautiful smile!

So to try and cheer up our friend, Navi and I decided to plan a surprise for her while she was out.  Mostly Navi because Navi is Picasso's best friend and even though they fight all the time they have a really deep bond.  I can tell.

Navi said she didn't think that Picasso would like a party or anything but I remembered that she had said she liked painting with blood which she obviously hasn't gotten to do lately so I figured she'd be really pumped for the opportunity.  But Navi said that she wouldn't paint except on full walls, so I figured we couldn't use the hotel.  I found a local warehouse that she could use and offered to drain my blood to fill up some blood packs so that eventually we'd have enough for a mural.  But Navi, the sweet thing she is, refused to let me use my own blood and said that she would take the burden of draining all on to herself.

I have such nice friends! ^_^

Well we were all set up and amassing blood and then we have our big meet up with my buddy Slypher and so we end up leaving the city!  Awkward!  So basically we had to be super spy sneaky sneak the blood packets into our packing.  Luckily I picked up a few tricks from my time in the FBI.  

Have I not told you guys about that?  It was pretty awesome.  I used to crawl through vents and use a grappling hook with the best of them.  But I had to retire from the force when there was a conflict of interest.  I'm sure they were sad to see their best agent go, but that Russian spy had captured my heart which I prize over my head.  We are madly in love.  It's very dramatic.

Anyway, now that we were in this new place I had to find a WHOLE NEW warehouse!  So I scoped out some places when I could but mainly Navi searched cause Picasso's very nervous about letting me out by myself.  Such a sweetheart.

And finally I was able to give it to her!  I took her to the warehouse and showed her the blood and she drew a picture.

Then we left!  And ate dinner.  And that's how to plan a good surprise!  I think Picasso was really happy, and also super not expecting it which just makes it even better!  

So finally, your things to be happy about today!
  • Olive Garden has unlimited breadsticks!
  • I still have all my blood!
  • It was just Valentines!  Think about someone you love and smile!
  • Grappling hooks have been invented.  That's just super sweet!
  • I woke up really early this morning and got to see Navi's adorable sleeping face!
  • There is a numberless number of people in the world to become friends with!
And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.


Sunday, February 8, 2015

Broken Brush

So, things got weird today.

April, Miss Fally as I like to call her, wanted to show me a surprise! Which was cool at first. I like to be treated as much as the next person. So I was happy to oblige and close my eyes for her... right up until the point where she opened the door and tried to lead me outside.

"Uhhh.... just how far are we going April sweety?"

"A few blocks," she said as if that was perfectly normal. That wasn't fucking happening.

"I'm not walking down the street with my eyes closed for 'a few blocks'," I insisted. That's about when I noticed Slicer and Navi behind me. "What are they coming to?!"

"Of course silly! So we can share in the feels!"

"We can't take Slicer. I don't want him flagging down police to come rescue him from us. Bound as he is, he'll draw a lot of attention."


I slammed the door behind us. "Navi can babysit. It'll be just you and me."

"Aww... fine," she grumped and then grinned.

"Good!" I smiled back and we started down the street.

I'm really, really glad I didn't let her talk me into walking there with my eyes closed. We went to the trashiest back alley I've seen in a good long while.

"Time for the surprise, close your eyes now!"

"Uhh.... is the surprise that I'm getting mugged?"

"That certainly would be surprising," she said putting hands over my eyes impatiently and pressing her body against my back to forcibly push me forward into the scary looking warehouse we had stopped in front of.

'Please don't steal my organs, please don't steal my organ, please don't steal my organs,' I whispered to myself.

April let her hands off my face. By this point I had closed my eyes on my own a little afraid to open them.

"Behold!" she declared.

I opened my eyes to find a cooler full of ice in front of me. 'Fuck, shes gonna steal my organs.'

"Isn't it great?!" she asked pulling a blood pack out of the ice.

".... What?"

"So you can paint!" she declared. I walked over to the cooler to find it was full of blood packs. I don't mention this often but I only paint murals and I only paint them in blood. Its complicated. I don't want to get into it.

"Oh," I said looking up at the bare disgusting warehouse walls. "We can do that."

Her bright smile waved a little, you know, like a psychopathic mother's might in a cartoon after she spends all night making dinner and all the father has to say about it is 'Oh, it was alright.' That kind of horrific lip quiver.

So I gave her a big bright smile and a hug. "I love it," I giggled. "I...! Am gonna paint you something. What should I paint?"

"Ummm... I don't know."

"Pick something! I want it to be special."

"I want a meadow and flowers and wavy tree.... and a big horse with a fire mane!"

"One /THAT/ coming right up!"

From there on I spent the next few hours hard at work painting. The fire mane was the hardest. Takes a lot of detail to depict fire with just one color. Had to go over that part with a lighter to give it color and texture. When I finally finished I collapsed against the wall content that my work was done.

April... did not seem pleased.

"Picasso.... what is that?" she asked. She was not smiling.

"Uh... A horse," and crawled over and sat beside her with an exhausted huff.

It was not a house. It was two children. One a teenage boy and one a little girl. They were in raggedy clothes and were standing in a beautiful meadow. You could see their hair and their bright beautiful grins... but not their ears, noses, eyes, or really any other part of their faces. Just their grin and their hair.

'FUCK FUCK FUCK' I shouted in my head. My fucking brush had painted something else on me again. It keeps fucking doing that. It pissing my off to no fucking end.

"What, is /that/!" asked April sounding absolutely pissed.

"Uh.... Children?" I asked, as I noticed my tree had turned out wrong too. Instead of a tree, it looked like Father was looming over the children. How the fuck did I miss that?!

April didn't say another word. She got up and rush out the door.

I practically had to chase her down.

"What wrong?" I demanded to know, grabbing her hand.

"Nothings wrong. Why would anything be wrong. Happy, we're happy here. Silver linings is.... were happy," she says forcing a very weak grin.

"April, talk to me."

"We... I, I just don't like children okay."

"I thought you said you loved children?"

"I d-did? Then I do. I love children, lets go see some children somewhere else," she said trying to pull away. I pulled her back.

"April, talk to me. The truth, for once!"

"I dislike children... they make me uncomfortable! Let's talk about something else!"

I nodded and pulled her into a hug. She finally stopped shaking. "I loved my present. I missed painting," I said before letting her go. She looked a little shy and I watched a real grin find a place on her face again.

"Don't forget to thank Navi too! It was her blood."

"I won't" I said sounding a little more thrilled that I really meant to be. Don't really know why I was so happy. Really no way to tell if April was telling the truth. I think she would have told me anything to get away from that building. I should have exploited that more maybe.

We laughed and hugged again, a little less awkwardly this time, granted I think she only hugged me to drag me further down the street inconspicuously.

We went out to eat after that and before long April was back to her loopy, grinning, goofy self. We brought some food back for Navi and Slicer too since they couldn't go with us. Navi whined about not getting to eat out. Other than that her night seemed to have gone fine. She apparently had a handless fight with Slicer and kicked his ass.

Slicer continues to be a whimp. A title I do believe will immortalize him. Really captures his essence.

Hehehe. Picasso out.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Fun Times with Fun Friends!

Sometimes there are times in your life that you stop and just realize that everything in this world is so amazingly beautiful!

Take the past week of my life, for example.  I'm both no longer being tortured and I get to hang out all day with my three best buddies!  Everything works out well if you believe that it will!  There's no point to wallowing in worst-case-scenarios.  Don't see the glass as empty, see it as potentially fillable with water!  Or delicious juice!  Or whatever you please!  There are lots of yummy drinks to enjoy in this world!

So it's been me and my girl Picasso and our color vision sweetheart Navi and my newest pal Slypher!  You remember him, he's that one who was having the issue waaaaaay back in the beginning about not being able to properly enjoy his job of cutting people up and sewing them back together.  Though Picasso says that it was just his own personal touch to sew his cuts back up and wasn't part of his job at all!  

What a creative guy!  No wonder he was such a valued employee by his boss and his friends!

Plus, it helped me totally not bleed out on the floor which would have wrecked an otherwise lovely hotel room and probably would have been quite the annoyance for the cleaning staff.  He's just a big softy, that's what I say.  A total sweetheart.  

But I'm not one to suppose why others do things, so I decided to ask him myself why he has such a flair for stitches!  Pulled him out from under the bed and gave him some water since a lot of times Picasso forgets to give him drinks if we leave her in charge of it.  Such a silly one, that Picasso!  Seems like she'd have a great memory, but every time we ask about Slypher it's like she's completely forgotten he was there!  And she always talks about forgetting about him strangely loud while staring right at where he is under the bed.  What a silly!

Anyway, I asked Slypher what his deal was with the stitches.  And he said (and he got all pouty and red faced when he said it, the cutie) that he wasn't used to making incisions without closing them back up again.  It was second nature to try and keep the blood inside the patient.

Can you believe that?  My new friend Slypher is a doctor just like me!  We have so much in common!  We can talk about doctor stuff like needles and medicine and have a great bonding happy fun time!  I'm excited.  He insists that he 'isn't a doctor anymore, he gave up being a doctor when he stopped saving people', but that just sounds like defeatist talk to me.

I think he REALLY REALLY liked being a doctor!  When he was telling me about how he used to be one he smiled!  And, let us not forget that that was the original motive of everything!  He seems to have given up on it, but I would never let him give up his dreams!  I'm sure that if we talked to them his proxy friends would be happy to let him go back to being a doctor if we explain that torturing people isn't really up his alley.

I'll go talk to Picasso about it, she was out buying food when I talked with him about this, so she doesn't know the plan, but I think she'd be all in favor!  Her and Slypher get along super duper well.  They're always firing off quips at each other like an old married couple!  ^_^ It's completely adorable.

So finally!  A list of things to be happy about today!

  • Slypher is finally opening up to me!  That is the mark of a true friendship being born.
  • We live in a society that has invented and endorses pillows!
  • You are a unique individual with your own unique laugh (why not let someone hear it today?)
  • Cuddles!
  • There was an extra pretty sunset today!
  • Carter is a super sweet guy, and we got to become friends with him through the magic of the internet!
  • There is an endless number of people in the world to become friends with!
And you are the most beautiful person I have yet to meet.