Friday, November 14, 2014

Night Breezes Seem

Well, I like being left in a box in the corner alone to die with my pet schizophrenic ginger toy thing as much as the next girl but you can only taunt Navi so long before it starts to loose it's charm and without Moth around to mix things up I feel like I could just die of boredom.

But then it occurred to me just how stupid that was. Why should I die of my boredom? Everyone else should die of my boredom. Its their fault for not entertaining me!

So using Navi as a human battering ram, if you can call her human, I broke out of my box and I broke out of the corner and then I broke the fuck out of my room for glorious freedom! Metaphorically speaking at least... wasn't actually locked up anywhere. Just really fucking bored.

I did actually use Navi as a battering ram to open my door though. That happened.

After that I went to visit an old friend. One of the ones I mentioned in the last post. You know, one of those assholes who refuse to spend any time with me or look me in the eye? Yeah, one of those fuckers. To protect the innocent, I will not use their name here. Although those of you who are clever will probably be able to figure it out. Infact, I'm not even gonna explain their half of the dialogue just to be safe. This will just be my half of the conversation!

Super secret keeper PaKaSo for the win!

So I approached my old friend the way I always do... or did, back in the day. With chloroform!

"Hey [Name]. Does this smell like chloroform to you?" I asked putting a rag to their face. They never got back to me on that one but my guess is no. Chloroform is odorless. So they passed out after a moment and I dragged them into their room. Navi stood their being confused, which is pretty typical of her. She followed the unconscious body as I dragged it into the room all the same. Great survival instincts. Definitely... could not go bad on her. I'd try to explain to her why some of the things she does is incredibly dumb but she can't see or hear me. And if she could, this wouldn't be an issue. Kind of a catch twenty two.


So I tied my old friend to a chair and took a seat of my own and waited for the fucker to wake up. I had also fashioned a brace to their neck and shoulders so they couldn't look away from me. I'm tired of these assholes avoiding eye contact. Your will look at me!

In fact, when they woke up I think I explained that in a monologue... that's a bad habit. I'm gonna have to watch that.

I won't bore you with an explanation of my explaining that to him in diologue quotes. That'd be silly. I already explained it or something... this explanation also seems redundant. God, I'm really ranty and shit. Bad habit. I'm gonna have to watch that.

So like I said, I explained the neck brace thing.

Then I got out of my chair and leaned over their face and started yelling.

"So what the fuck?!"

"Don't you what the fuck my what the fuck to me! You know exactly what I'm talking about."


"Yeah? Then why the fuck have you been avoiding me? Huh. That sound friendly?" I bashed their head against their desk. "Should we make this kind of thing our standard?!"

They got all frantic and shit. Pure panic. I wasn't dealing with a friend anymore. I was dealing with an animal I had backed into a corner. A filthy animal that didn't want to talk to or deal with me. THAT COULDN'T FUCKING STAND TO LOOK AT ME.

"Fuck it." And I cut them free. The asshole toppled over it's desk to get away from me. Classy as shit.

"No! We're not done. I'm tired of sitting in this base doing nothing."

"Fuck that. I don't care what Fracture wants. If he cared, he'd be here. Hes as bad as you and he'll deserve his death when I get around to him."

I buried my sword into their desk. "Would you calm the fuck down?! I'm not here to kill you. But from now on, you're gonna be my handler. And you will give me real assignments. Not baby crap. Or my next visit be to kill you. You hear me?!"

"Good. I assume you already have my number?"

"Glad to see you haven't lost it," I said taking my sword and heading for the door. "Oh and we should get a drink some time and catch up. I've missed our little talks," I said with a bright grin, before slipping out the door pulling Navi out with me.

That fucker. Never called for us to go get a drink... but they did send me an assignment.

So... guess who's back in business? That's right, ME! PaKaSo. And guess what? Its time to mess up some faces. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

PaKaSo out.